5 Reasons Why a Shark Would Not Make a Good Speech-Language Pathologist

5 Reasons Why a Shark Would Not Make a Good Speech-Language Pathologist

In my opinion, when a bright and motivated HUMAN college student decides to major in speech-language pathology, that’s a moment that should be celebrated. We really need passionate HUMANS to enter this field so that they can positively impact all of the HUMAN children with various communication difficulties. HUMAN clinicians are the best clinicians out there! (Yes, I know I’m biased because I’m a human, but hear me out.)

I just got home from my local aquarium and I can’t stop thinking about SHARKS!

Here is a question to sink your teeth into . . . do you think a shark would make good speech-language pathologist? I have been pondering this all day and my answer is no. In fact, I think a shark would make a terrible SLP. Here are my 5 reasons why a SHARK would NOT make a good speech-language pathologist.

1. No fingers!

Sharks have fins, not fingers. This means that they are not able to effectively utilize the finger-sensitive touchscreen that iPads have. No iPads in speech therapy?! Oh no! That means the clients will not be able to use any of the fun and affordable applications I made!

2. Wet from water!

Let’s pretend for a minute that sharks actually have fingers and are able to use an iPad. Well . . . they would surely ruin the device because they would get the iPad soaking wet! All the fun battery-powered gadgets and electronics that we SLPs love would never survive!

3. Printer headaches!

Here is a common scenario. You are trying to print out that IEP you have been working on for hours, and low and behold . . . you are fresh out of printer ink! If this were to happen to a shark SLP, I am 100% positive he/she would eat a co-worker out of pure frustration (and last I checked, eating co-workers was a no-no).

4. IEP craziness!

You know how sometimes a parent needs to reschedule an IEP meeting? Well, if a parent cancelled with a shark SLP, I think he/she would eat the parent out of pure aggravation (and last I checked, eating a parent was ALSO a no-no).

5. Homework anger!

Oh no! Little Johnny forgot to complete his articulation homework?! How do you think a shark SLP might handle this situation? Yup, you’re right, little Johnny would probably become shark food in NO TIME! (and last I checked, eating students was a SERIOUS no-no!!!)

In closing . . .

I really hope I don’t get too many angry emails from sharks about this post. Don’t get me wrong, I do LOVE sharks. They are one of the most magnificent creatures in the sea, but come on, a shark SLP would be beyond SCARY! Agree/disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts. Lookin’ forward to our chat 😉

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