School-based speech-language pathologists are no strangers to being forced to provide speech-language therapy services in, well, STRANGE places. For example, an old broom closet, an old custodian closet, or even smack dab in the middle of the school’s cafeteria (while the band was on stage practicing their instruments). Boy oh boy, just when I think I’ve heard it all, I get one more email about an odd place that a fellow clinician is being forced to work in.
So wacky right? Ugh!
If it were up to us, we would ALL absolutely have our own classrooms because it only makes sense that a location like that would enable ALL of us to create an environment conducive to learning and growth. But I know, not all of us are able to have our own classrooms for one reason or another, and though we aren’t thrilled about that fact, we will survive (because speech-language pathologists are THEE most adaptable educators on the planet). However, we want to make it loud and clear that there are a few locations that we REFUSE to work in, so I compiled a list that highlights the top 3 locations that we will NOT provide speech-language services in. Never. Ever!
1. The roof of the school.
Listen, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to give that articulation assessment appropriately because the wind keeps blowing in my ears each time I try to hear if the student pronounced the target sound in the right manner. So, yea, don’t ask me to move my desk to the roof of the school because it ain’t happening. Oh, and I hate heights. Thanks but no thanks.
2. In the tree right next to the school.
Wait, do I look like I have feathers? Trees are for birds, NOT clinicians. Imagine sitting on a branch while attempting to track data with one hand while trying to keep balance with the other. It’s an accident waiting to happen! So, yea, don’t ask me to move my desk up to the tree right next to the school because it ain’t happening. Oh, and I don’t particularly enjoy the idea of a bird pooping on me while I’m trying to write a progress note. Thanks but no thanks.
3. On the ceiling of a classroom.
Yes, it’s obvious that the school is overcrowded and that floor space is limited, but the idea that we might be able to take advantage of the ceiling space is a bit insane, don’t cha think?! I mean, do you really think it’s a good idea to ask the custodians to nail my desk to the ceiling?! How are my students and I supposed to work on various lessons WHILE we’re upside down?! So, yea, don’t ask me to do the whole ceiling thing because it ain’t happening. Oh, and the thought of me accidentally dropping my iPad and having it fall from the ceiling down to the floor is terrifying (it already has enough bumps and bruises on it). Thanks but no thanks.
In closing . . .
So, are you being forced to work in an unusual place? If you are, don’t fret because it could be worse, right? You could be on the roof, in a tree, or upside down on the ceiling, HAHA! But in all seriousness, if our building principals and/or administrators want to keep us SLPs happy, just give us our own room to work our miraculous speech-language therapy magic in because we SO deserve it. 😉